Just tindering – I

I have been on and off Tinder for almost three years now. Three years back when I was working in a start-up that was experimenting on making a mobile chat application, I had downloaded close to 50 different chat applications on the phone to explore their features. Since I was in a relationship then, I didn’t really experiment with this dating app much.

A few months later, I was out of that relationship (Thank God!) and that company (Thank God again!). I deleted most all of those apps but since I was single again and ready to mingle, I actually started using Tinder. The first guy I met off the app was a disaster. I walked out in less than 30 minutes. Details on that in some upcoming post.

The second guy who actually could hold onto a decent conversation seemed much better. Just to be sure that this too wasn’t going to be a complete surprise, I checked how tall he was. Call me shallow but I prefer tall guys. We chatted, met, hit it off and dated for a year. Turned out that he is the love of my life. We aren’t together anymore because well, life! The essence of him remains and I will always belong to him. More details on that as well in upcoming posts.

During that one year, I wasn’t on Tinder. Since I am not an extrovert, I have difficulties in meeting new people. I have a ‘no dating office guys’ policy because if things start to go bad, it gets complicated and then awkward. I have enough experience on that. So Tinder seemed like a good place to meet new people. Hence, much later after we parted, I was on the app again swiping more left than right.

During the time when I wasn’t using the it, Tinder became more to be known as a hook-up app than a dating app. Randomness of such sort never excited me. I need to connect with a person before jumping into bed with him. Chemistry is important. And almost all men I started matching with had zero conversation value. Such a turn off! Those who seemed to be better at the conversation part, steered it towards towards sex within minutes and then came the often ‘I am not looking for anything serious’ or ‘I am here only for casual sex’.

With time and maturity, I have realized that commitment from day one is stupidity. Hell, even I don’t know if I’d be able to keep up with it. Let’s get to know each other first and see how this goes. If it does work out, nothing like it. I guess I am still much behind though in terms of my thought process.

I always have and still hold an interesting conversation and chemistry to be a pre-requisite for sex. However, in my last few interactions on Tinder with several guys, I’ve gotten to know that Sex is now a pre-requisite to even meet for a drink. All the guys have asked me if there is a chance that there would be “something more” to do after drinks. I usually reply with a ‘Let’s see how it goes… can’t promise anything from now’ and bam! End of conversation. No, they don’t unmatch. They just stop chatting. And all I can ask myself is, ‘Am I too prude?’.

(To be continued…)



3 thoughts on “Just tindering – I

  1. ashiot says:

    “Always! That is such a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.” – Lord Henry (from Portrait of a Lady by Oscar Wilde). Men are also guilty of this I think. I have yet to form an opinion on one night stands for the lack of first and experience! I have only known Tinder as a hook-up app and therefore haven’t signed-up. Having read this I shall certainly reconsider. Have you tried meeting anyone through competing apps?

    • Twilight says:

      Well, from my experience Matrimony sites are just the same. Except that people expect the other person to be goody-two-shoes while they have conquered the world. These apps and forums are just mediums to meet new people and nothing more. It’s what you make out of it. I know people who have gotten married after meeting their partners on Tinder and I have better conversations on Tinder as well. Love happens over time and never overnight. Its us who probably lack commitment value and patience nowadays. As W.H. Davis puts it “What is this life if, full of care,
      We have no time to stand and stare.”

      • ashiot says:

        Matrimony website? I sure hope I wouldn’t do that, better single! Yes now i’m encouraged to give it a try soon! waiting for part 2.

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